catholic deep thoughts

A Jubilee Year Meditation: The Holy Door of Your Life

This is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life!

As I contemplated my impending trip to Rome, where I will pass through the Holy Door in Saint Peter’s Basilica, opened specifically for the Jubilee Year, I realized that right now in my life, I am walking through another door.  A door of change, in several ways.  A door of newness that takes courage and discipline.  A door of challenge.  I know I am not alone.  Perhaps all Catholics this year, are called to do the same thing, whether or not they can get to Rome or another place with a Holy Door (apparently, all cathedrals have one).  It’s not the door that really matters, it’s what it symbolizes.  It’s the change it encourages in one’s life.  Holy Church invites us to cross a great threshold of holiness in this year of graces, at a time when it is most needed.

Of course, the spiritual is of greater importance than the temporal.  However, it is often mundane matters that require the analysis and discipline which leads to spiritual growth.  So we might wish to ask these types of questions:

What is my door?

What are my goals?  What must I change in my life?  How hard am I willing to work?  (Maybe it won’t require working harder, but smarter.)  What needs to shift?  What must I let go of?  What’s working in my life?  What isn’t?  What obstacles need to be removed?  What structures need to be built? 

“The world is wide, and I will not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum.”

Frances Willard

3 years ago, late at night, I slipped in the doorway between my kitchen and the hallway and received a bad concussion.  It was life-changing, not only because of the physical and mental effects (some of which I still suffer from), but because of how it challenged me and was part of a spiritual transformation in my life.  Every night I walk through that same doorway on my way to bed and remember that rite of passage.  That doorway hurt me but it also mysteriously helped me. 

“And we know that to them that love God, all things work together unto good, to such as, according to his purpose, are called to be saints.”

Romans 8:28

Life has many doors…reminds me of Mary Hopkin’s beautifully haunting song, “Water, Paper and Clay.”  Water representing Baptism, paper representing the wedding day and clay, burial…universal, speaking to the deepest parts of us.  Each of these doors creates instant change.  But the kind of change we must initiate through force of the will and maintain, is difficult.  The Holy Door concept gives us the encouragement and motivation we need.  We can all traverse our own Holy Doors, whether they are actual ecclesiastical doors, or something more personal.  Holy Church during this privileged Jubilee Year beckons us all to a renaissance of the soul…a resurrection in some way resembling Our Lord’s, bringing us closer to Heaven.

Meditation on the Resurrection

From EWTN Vatican, with brief commentary and stunning photos…

Pilgrims From All Over The World Pass Through Holy Door Of St. Peter’s Basilica

From Pilgrimaps, a respectful article on the Holy Doors, including history, symbolism, and the universality of such passages across cultures (sorry about the flashing thing on this website, but it’s worth reading)…

The Holy Door:  The Meaning of Crossing the Threshold

“I am the Door. By me, if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and he shall go in, and go out, and shall find pastures.”

John 10:9

Thought for the Day

We are now immersed in an omni-front attack vector world. This is war. Just getting through the day is now a military-grade evasion operation. If you don’t understand this, you have not been paying attention and you need to get up to speed really fast.

And if you don’t believe the world is that dark, just take a look at Our Blessed Lord upon the cross once again.

This Is What It's All About!

See our previous post promoting the Catholic Land Movement’s upcoming summer conferences. Here’s a great excerpt from director Michael Thomas’ opening talk at last year’s NY conference. It is so inspiring and I think he is right in saying many Catholics are coming to dream of a very different world and a very different life: The Authentic Life! There is more footage of last year’s conference on the YouTube channel (I’m probably in there somewhere LOL). And maybe I will see you at the New York one day conference next month!

Catholic Land Movement Conference Summer 2024 ~ Short Video Clip

Text:

Am I alone in dreaming of a world, where I wake up to the sound of bells calling me to Daily Office, and then leaving there for a meal with my family, and then leaving there to meet my brothers in the field, where we work by the sweat of our brow and pause to say the Angelus at 12, and then return to the field?

And then go to the home where my wife is productive with my children in a domestic setting where things are being made, where the children work on dresses and canning and pickling food.

And I went out and milked the animals at the end of the day.

And then I went to the monastery, which was right down the road and caught Vespers at night. Maybe there was a Mass.

I lived an agricultural life layered on top of a liturgical life where Ember and Rogation Days really meant something in my life because the blessing of my fields was critically important.

When fast days really actually helped keep my larder full.

When Lent was really about making it through Spring.

I dream sometimes of living that simple life. Am I alone in dreaming that? Anybody else feel like they want that?

I think there's something deep in all of us as Catholics that calls us to that that idea of a life of a cadence of seasons, of a deepness in our prayer and liturgical life, a deepness in our relationship to our labor and its dignity, and an ordering, a natural order to our family that is beautiful and touched by God's grace. I believe that many of us as Catholics hold that dream.

For 3 days at this conference squint your eyes and just pretend that that's what we live like. Let yourself live that dream that I think we all carry about what Catholic community could be like.

Then we're going to go out into the world and make it happen.”

Is that beautiful, or what?

Trad Youth in Rebellion?

“The Tridentine Mass will return because youth is always in rebellion.”

Laurence Lesser

No, Mr. Lesser was not famous. He was a family friend of my parents, who we always called Uncle Larry. I became close to him later in his life and would visit him in a nursing home upstate, NY. We would correspond, and in one of his letters (early 90’s, only several years after Pope John Paul II liberalized the old Mass and I started attending it), he wrote the above quote, which I have never forgotten. I found him a rare encouragement in the Faith and particularly in my interest in the Tridentine Mass. The very last time I visited him, he said he had lost his Rosary beads in the nursing home. I had a pair of white plastic ones in my car and ran out to get them. It was a very short visit, as we were pressed for time. I remember placing them in his hand and then saying “Goodbye.” What a beautiful memory and I feel so blessed to have been able to do that for him in his final days.

As we see young people flocking to the “Mass of the Ages,” looking for something with true meaning, it would seem Uncle Larry was a prophet. They are indeed rebelling against a culture of narcissism and nihilism. They want happy, faithful marriages. They want children. Quite frankly, they want a normal life. I personally know many of these young people. I’ve seen them grow and blossom as they practice a truly devout Catholic life. I’ve seen them lovingly holding their children in their arms. I am always captivated by the babies at Mass, knowing it is to them, that I have a responsibility-that is why I do this work. I have only to look at these holy innocents and it is enough of a motivation.

As modernists see their “utopic” vision vanishing before their very eyes, they are unleashing their final attack. They can’t quite handle the cognitive dissonance that the great “Age of Aquarius” they were mind-controlled into slavishly working toward…is dead and dying. They just can’t face up to the fact that their whole lives were a mistake…and that they fell for a lie. Modernism bore no fruit-it had no roots. The plant itself is withering. Who knew that those who despised tradition would one day cling with draconian rigidity to their own traditions? The future belongs to those of the counter-rebellion.

“Wherefore by their fruits you shall know them.”

Matthew 7:20

That doesn’t mean we are in for a cakewalk. But it does mean there is hope and certainty, in fact…that what was purchased with the Blood of Christ will prevail, because it must.

Please keep dear Larry and his family in prayer-much thanks. Please know we do take prayer requests and will post them if you like.

Anniversary of the "X Eclipse"...and the Story I Never Told

Today is the one year anniversary of the “X Eclipse” across the United States.  The X was formed actually, by 2 total eclipses of the sun, 7 years apart.  It crossed over a 9,000 square mile area, with the epicenter being near Carbondale, Illinois.  For our purposes, I will call the combination of the eclipses the “X Eclipse.”  Together they form a symbol, a marriage spanning time and space.

Nomen Christi Apostolate pioneered the “Eclipse Pilgrimage of Mercy,” which was promoted largely to traditional parishes, in all 50 states.  Bill Kassel, with an EWTN affiliated radio station in Michigan, asked me to speak about the pilgrimage on his show.  It was a very exciting opportunity and certainly was instrumental in getting the word out further.  The eclipse was the day after Divine Mercy Sunday, which I saw as a sign, and designed the pilgrimage around this feast and for the intention of mercy.  The pilgrimage aspect encouraged people to visit a holy site and pray the Rosary, in addition to the Divine Mercy Chaplet the week prior.

My family and I went to San Antonio, Texas, to do our pilgrimage along the San Antonio River, where the old Franciscan Missions (including the Alamo) are located.  We went to each of the 5 missions, on 5 separate days, to pray the Rosary and walk to the river, throwing a white rose into it and praying more prayers.  Why did we do this ritual with the river?  All I can say is, at the time, I was strongly motivated to connect with the river and make it a part of our pilgrimage.  It is not an accident that the missions were built along a river, as rivers were the lifeblood of communities in the past.  I wanted to connect in a tangible way with God’s beautiful San Antonio River, so the roses were a way to do this.  There was a sense of “letting go,” not knowing where the roses would land, an intimation of something not yet fulfilled and not able to be controlled.  White represents purity, which tied in well with the appeal to mercy, the conversion of our country and the nature of the Blessed Mother, who was with us the entire way, as we prayed the Rosary and encountered many images of Our Lady of Guadalupe. 

Tragically, a dear friend and her aunt passed away four months earlier, in a car accident in Mexico.  Her name was Virginia and her aunt’s name was Rosa, representing innocence and roses.  I had it in mind to honor their memory as well, with the white roses perhaps making their way to the shores of Mexico.  So you see, this all came together in some mystical synchronistic way, as many things do in the lives of those who have eyes to see how God works in His Divine Providence.

The white roses could also have represented the trafficked, abused children in the area of San Antonio. Terribly, it’s a well-known problem there, 150 miles from the Mexican border. The Mother of God cries for them. Now, one year later, we are thankfully seeing improvement on these issues.

We viewed the eclipse in the rural hills of Texas, along the western side of the eclipse path.  There amazingly, was a huge cross on a hill behind us (they do that in Texas, apparently).  I looked up and saw a crescent Sun in a dusky sky.  The very next day, at Mission Concepcion, there above the altar, was Our Blessed Lord standing atop a crescent Sun, mostly obscured by the Moon, in fact, an eclipse!  It was exactly what I saw the day before in full, shining reality.  I couldn’t see anything through the special glasses, so in one stupid moment, I looked up with my naked eyes.  Then I looked back down, hoping I didn’t just blind myself.  I was stunned when I saw the painting in the chapel and fell to my knees in disbelief, before praying the Rosary. 

The missions revealed something to me as we went along…something I was not expecting, but perhaps should have…a real-life example of the very thing I wish to do with this ministry.  They were the scattered remains of once-thriving, self-sufficient Catholic communities.  Each mission had a water well, farmland, living quarters and a chapel.  It was a learning experience for me and one mission was constructed very similarly to my own vision of such a community.  I had traveled 2,000 miles to see the future in my mind, as an actual physical place from the past…the past meeting the future, coming full circle.  Humanity will be brought back to its origins and the technocracy will fail and will fall.

We were blessed to be able to attend the Tridentine Mass right in San Antonio, at Saint Timothy Church.  It was quite well-attended and had the most beautiful artwork of Our Lady of Guadalupe.  She is ever-present in that area! Cardinal Burke’s famous Guadalupe prayer was a part of our prayers at the river.

What does the whole thing mean?  Well, that is up for interpretation and prayer.  The more I look at it, the more I see the “X” as a symbol of the division in our nation, which ultimately is spiritual warfare.  Where is this all going?  A warning is meant to help mitigate what is coming (and to alleviate what is already here).  So let us use the wonderful Catholic treasures at our disposal to accomplish that.

You can find some commentary on the X Eclipse on our Home page and all references to the eclipse and the pilgrimage on “Eclipse POM,” in the topics to the right>>>  Included is my writing on the original eclipse of 2017, which itself was quite interesting, along with my phone interview with Bill Kassel.

Somehow, just before this anniversary, the X Eclipse came back into my view, which is what got me thinking about it again.  I am now doing “X Eclipse 2.0” research and will do a write-up when I am ready.  It is still relevant and there is a lot there.  I am exploring questions such as….

Is there any significance to the area of the X?  What is this area’s strange esoteric history?

Why were the eclipses 7 years apart?

What about the “Devil Comet” and Chiron (considered a minor planet), which both occurred with the X Eclipse?

What is the truth about this “Nineva” thing? 

What about the fault lines which strangely mirror the eclipse paths?

Does the separate “X Eclipse” which took place in Texas have any meaning?

…And the whole thing started when I called my cousin in Texas and asked him, “So what do we so in San Antonio, as long as we’re there to see the Eclipse?”  He said, “Well, there are some missions.”  As he described the missions along the river, I began to think, “This sounds like a pilgrimage.”  I came up the idea to combine the pilgrimage with the eclipse and said to myself, “As long as I’m doing this, why don’t I spread the word?” 

Turns out, there IS an official pilgrimage at the missions:  El Camino de San Antonio Missions

PS  I would love to share pictures with you, but the blog has stopped letting me put up images.  I have to update one of these days and hopefully that will fix it.  However, I can put pics in my monthly newsletter, so let’s make a deal, you sign up (see Email List above) and I’ll put some pilgrimage pics in the May email! [May email has now gone out, if you missed it, it will be sent at special request.] Speaking of images, here is what I saw at Mission Concepcion, which also happens to be the above-mentioned Pilgrimage Center…

PAINTING OF OUR LORD UPON AN ECLIPSE

Happy Saint Patrick's Day / Thoughts for the Day

SAINT PATRICK, PRAY FOR US!

From today’s trad Mass:

O God, Who didst deign to send blessed Patrick, Thy confessor and bishop, to preach Thy glory to the nations, grant, through his merits and intercession, that those commands which Thou dost set before us we may by Thy mercy be able to fulfill.

Grant, we beseech Thee, O Almighty God, that, giving thanks for the favors we have received, we may, by the intercession of blessed Patrick, Thy confessor and bishop, obtain blessings still greater. Amen.

~ ~ ~

I belong here because I am here.

~ ~ ~

When you look beyond the horizon, the obstructions collapse.

~ ~ ~

Envy is the inability to receive another person’s gifts, which were meant for you.

~ ~ ~

The mystic surrenders his life to the Mystery.

The thoughts shared here which are not in quotes, are recent meditations of mine which I have crystallized into simple ideas. All writing on this site is by CF Mathews, unless otherwise noted.

1st Week of Advent from "Advent of the Heart" with PDF

Advent of the Heart

+   First Week of Advent   +

Fr. Alfred Delp, German Martyr

Let us view these writings through the lens of our own times.  Fr. Delp’s theological genius is nothing short of breathtaking.  All quotes below pertain to the First Sunday of Advent…

Opening Psalm of the Tridentine Mass (the Mass Fr. Delp would have celebrated):

“To Thee have I lifted up my soul: in Thee, O my God, I put my trust, let me not be ashamed: neither let my enemies laugh at me: for none of them that wait on Thee shall be confounded. Show, O Lord, Thy ways to me: and teach me Thy paths.”

Fr. Delp’s homily, Munich, 1941:

“Much of what is happening today would not be happening if people were in that state of inner movement and restlessness of heart in which man comes into the presence of God the Lord and gains a clear view of things as they really are.  [Fr. Delp changes to the past tense, displaying his distanced vantage point from this world.]  Then man would have let go of much that has thrown all our lives into disorder one way or another and has thrashed and smashed our lives.  He would have seen the inner appeals, would have seen the boundaries, and could have coordinated the areas of responsibility.  Instead, man stood on this earth in a false pathos and a false security, under a deep delusion in which he really believed he could single-handedly fetch stars from heaven; could enkindle eternal lights in the world and avert all danger from himself; that he could banish the night, and intercept and interrupt the internal quaking of the cosmos, and maneuvered and manipulated the whole thing into the conditions standing before us now.  That is the first Advent message: before the end, the world will be set quaking.”

Fr. Delp’s homily, Munich, 1943:

“People who fail to live out of the center can be alienated from themselves so easily by outside influences.  Other values of secondary importance impose themselves, making life inauthentic and bringing it under an alien law and an alien paradigm.  Are we living out of the center of our being?”

From Tegel Prison, Berlin, 2 months before Delp’s martyrdom, struggling to write while in handcuffs.  These were smuggled out at great risk.  Do not take these words for granted:

Light the candles wherever you can, you who have them.  They are a real symbol of what must happen in Advent, what Advent must be, if we want to live.”

PDF PRINTABLE

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Feast of Saint Hildegard of Bingen / Saint Hildegard Series: Part 1

Here are some quotes by Saint Hildegard which illustrate her theology of nature, called “Veriditas”…

“O most honored Greening Force, you who roots in the Sun, you who lights up, in shining serenity, within a wheel that earthly excellence fails to comprehend. You are enfolded in the weaving of divine mysteries. You redden like the dawn and you burn, flame of the Sun.”

"The Word is living, being, spirit, all verdant greening, all creativity. This Word manifests Itself in every creature."

"Glance at the sun. See the moon and the stars. Gaze at the beauty of earth’s greenings. Now, think. What delight God gives to mankind with all these things…

All nature is at the disposal of mankind. We are to work with it. For without it, we cannot survive."

"The fire has its flame and praises God. The wind blows the flame and praises God. In the voice we hear the word which praises God. And the word, when heard, praises God. So all of creation is a song of praise to God."

"Good People, most royal greening verdancy, rooted in the sun, you shine with radiant light."

"Now in the people that were meant to be green there is no more life of any kind. There is only shriveled barrenness. The winds are burdened by the utterly awful stink of evil, selfish goings-on. Thunderstorms menace. The air belches out the filthy uncleanliness of the peoples. The earth should not be injured! The earth must not be destroyed!"

"Mary, ground of all being, Greetings! Greetings to you, lovely and loving Mother!"

"Mankind, full of all creative possibilities, is God’s work. Mankind alone is called to assist God. Mankind is called to co-create. With nature’s help, mankind can set into creation all that is necessary and life-sustaining."

Saint Hildegard von Bingen, 1098-1179

Saint Hildegard of Bingen, also known as “Sibyl of the Rhine” and “The Teutonic Prophetess,” was born in Germany and became a Benedictine nun.  Living within Saint Benedict’s and his twin Saint Scholastica’s model of community and self-reliance, she used her genius to advance her predecessors’ ideas into a full lifestyle and theology.  She became a musical composer, herbalist, playwright, artist, theologian, mystic and prophetess.  Hildegard is one of Holy Church’s glorious examples of human potential when illumined by the Light of Christ, like stained glass lit by the Sun.  She has given insight to the world for 1,000 years.  At this historic juncture, we must return to Hildegard’s respect for nature and God’s Law.  As we carry her torch forward, may she continue to instruct humanity for another 1,000 years!

When these present days get us weary…and they will, let us flee to Hildegard’s intercession, for she understands.  All great gifts come with great crosses. Let us ask our Blessed Lord for renewed strength.  Let us speak dearest Hildegard’s words…

Again I am in turmoil.
Should I speak, or must I be silent?
I feel like a gnarled old tree, withered and crooked and flaky.
All the stories of the years are written on my branches.
The sap is gone, the voice is dead.

But I long to make again a sacred sound.
I want to sound out God
I want to be a young juicy, sap-running tree
So that I can sing God as God knows how.

O God, Thou gentle viridity
O Mary, honeycomb of life
O Jesus, hidden in sweetness as flowing honey,
Release my voice again.

I have sweetness to share.
I have stories to tell.
I have God to announce.
I have green life to celebrate.
I have rivers of fire to ignite.

I was unable to find the source of this prayer.  If someone could apprise me, that would be much appreciated:)

And here is a lovely prayer honoring Hildegard…

Father, Source of Life, Thou hast bestowed on Saint Hildegard of Bingen many excellent graces.  Help us to follow her example of meditating upon Thine Ineffable Majesty and to follow Thee, so that we, amidst the darkness of this world, recognize the light of Thy clarity, to cling to Thee without fail.  Through our Lord Jesus Christ, Thy Son, who lives and reigns with Thee in the unity of the Holy Ghost, one God, forever and ever.  Amen.

Prayer from ChurchPop, slightly edited.

This is Part 1 of our new “Saint Hildegard Series.”  Stay tuned for Part 2, where we will discuss her concept of “Veriditas,” which matches Nomen Christi Apostolate’s philosophy remarkably well!