First of all, I want to impress upon you, how unusual it is for me to write about something like this. In 8 years of blogging, I don't think I've ever written about a dream of mine. But this dream I had recently was so extraordinary, I just felt I had to share it. I'm going to write this sort of "stream of consciousness." So here it is, for what it's worth....
Such a community of love we have here, getting ready for her to come, like she said she would. Such a celebration! The food, the festivities, the togetherness, comradery. It is so beautiful and she hasn't even come yet! But we will be properly prepared for her. We will give the Blessed Virgin, the Mother of God, the reception she deserves. We will make it the greatest feast! But we cannot tell the priests. They do not know the real reason we are celebrating. They would laugh at us. How glorious it will be when we see her!
There is so much to do....we are not ready. So much still to do! If things are not right, she may not appear. I have to try. I have to get it all right. We are running so late. Everyone is gathered around the beautiful area....waiting. So many people. But we are not quite ready and suddenly.....
A stillness. It draws me in. I stop everything, though I am not ready! It draws me in. A great stillness, a great quiet, an extraordinary beauty and peace, such as I have never felt nor comprehended before! The very air is changed. It is like...Heaven? But she is not here. She does not appear. Why? Please come, dear Mother! She does not come.
Perhaps we have failed. We were not ready. We disappointed her. Why did she not come? I am saddened. Such work, such preparation....and for what? We will make the best of it. We have all this food! But she did not come. I wonder why.
Upon waking from this dream, I still felt the sadness that the Blessed Mother did not appear as she said she would. I related the dream to my dear husband and do you know what he said? "She did come. That was the moment of peace and beauty you felt. But you were so wrapped up in what you thought you had to do, you didn't realize it."
Wow. Maybe he was right.